Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZ-DUM for the Day” 7-13-23

–Vehicles today can surf the web, link to your phone, stream music, and videos, etc.. but they still can’t perform a simple database lookup to tell you what the check engine light is on for.

–Every paper towel commercial reminds me that the cleanest solution is to simply  just not have children.

–For a detective, a surprise party is an ultimate insult.

–“Obligatory” sounds more and more like a Harry Potter spell the louder you say it.

–A rolling stone gathers no moss but a moving ceiling fan gathers dust like a son of gun.

–You know you’re old when you fall down and no one laughs.

–In the 50s people were fantasizing about robots doing all of our work, now people are terrified of it.

–Cactuses are the most antisocial plant, they grow in the middle of the desert and are still like, “Don’t you even come near me!”

–I think we have gone too far in our lives without thinking of Turkey eggs very much.

–No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store.  

– I bet genies were a real thing until one jerk wished for genies not to exist anymore.

–All marijuana is considered medical marijuana if you believe laughter is the best medicine.  

–For a lot of men, Barbie was the first girl they saw naked.

–The best item to protect yourself from a Bigfoot attack is a camera.