Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZ-DUM for the Week” 11-2-23

–You know we have hit a technological wall with cell phone improvements when the only thing Apple pitches about their new phone is that it’s made of Titanium.
–You can tell a lot about a person based on what part of their pants wear out first.
–The game Monopoly is so realistic that only one person can have fun.
–If heaven is eternal bliss and hell is eternal torment, then life is essentially just your job interview.
–If scammers would perfect English grammar, we would be in a whole lot more trouble.
–Your salary is the bribe they give you to forget your dreams.
–Kangaroos are just deer that have gone to prison.
–The body raises its temperature to kill off harmful organisms. That’s what earth’s doing with us.
–Are edgy people called edgy because they aren’t well rounded individuals?
–In the event of an apocalypse, don’t spend the first 20 minutes wondering why the internet doesn’t work.
–Asking for someone’s name is just asking what noise you should make to attract their attention.
–Vegetarians eat their food alive!
–If I had a dollar for every time I had no idea what was going on, I’d be asking people why they were giving me dollars.
–If you turn on a light switch with your middle finger, you are flipping it off and on at the same time.
–Laughter is the best medicine, except when you have broken ribs.
–Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of throwing dice.