Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZ-DUM for the Week” 9-21-23

–50% of Canada is the letter ‘a’

–Runners spend a lot of time running just to run for the shortest amount of time possible.

–Chuck E. Cheese is the only restaurant you go to because they have rats.

–There are two kinds of lazy people. Those who climb out of swimming pools using the ladder because it’s easier than just using the side of the pool, and those who use the side of the pool because they are too lazy to swim to the ladder.

–The receipt checkers at Walmart and Costco treat you as guilty until proven innocent.

–When people tell you the early bird catches the worm, they conveniently forget to mention the fact that the nocturnal ones have spent the night hunting small mammals.

–Sign language has the lowest amount of pronunciation inconsistencies of any language.

–If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches? 

–Is the opposite of “opposite” the same thing?

–Parents worry about what their sons download and worry about what their daughters upload.

–Humans hunt with food, animals have to hunt and kill with their FACE.

–A real psychic would find a better use of their time than reading YOUR fortune for 20 bucks.

–Drinking water through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

–When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

–The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.

–The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast.

–Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak.