Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZZ-DUMB for the Day”

–Ouija Boards say “Ages 8+.”  So, you have to be 21 to drink, but can summon the dead at age 8.

–When you buy a bigger bed, you have more bed…room, but less bedroom.

–The trees cut down to make Jenga Blocks are repeatedly forced to relive their own death.

–The only thing separating you from certain death at 65mph are painted yellow and white lines and a mutual agreement to not play bumper cars.

– If you attempt to rob a bank, you won’t have any trouble with rent or food bills for the next 10 years whether you are successful or not.

–If you count in either direction, starting from zero, your lips won’t touch until you reach a million.

–I wonder what people who type the letter “u” instead of spelling out “Y-O-U” do with all their free time.

–Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it, but because you paid for it.

–The biggest form of peer pressure as a kid wasn’t necessarily drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes. It came during exams when it was completely silent and you heard everyone turn to page 2 while you were still on the first question.

–When medication says “do not operate heavy machinery” they’re probably mainly referring to cars, but my mind always goes to a forklift.