–People shorten Mayonnaise to Mayo but there is no shortened form of Worcestershire, which is way more laborious.–Conspiracy theorists seem to forget how hard it is for even two people to keep a secret.–The brain is the smartest organ in your body… according to the brain.–You can say “have a nice day” and there’s no…
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–Our brains have been conditioned to think about a dog when Pavlov is mentioned. –One of the toughest things about being a pro golfer is probably signing golf balls. –The glass that the Kool-Aid man is made of seems to be stronger than most walls. –Coffee wakes you up faster if you spill some on…
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–Video games really downplay how tough it is to crouch walk. –We spend our entire lives inside our minds, only experiencing the outside world through the lens of our perception. (OOOoooooo, soooo deep with that one) –A job interview feels like a conversation between two liars, both of which know the other is lying. –A…
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–Turning the music down helps you see better in parking lots. –When you sleep with your arms on top of your bedding, you are a human paperclip. –A kiss is technically a headbutt, just not as violent. –When someone in your neighborhood is having a BBQ, it must be the same feeling when sharks smell…
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–Plastic bags are the city version of tumbleweed. –The voice in your head is an extraordinary singer. –If you wash the dirt from an ice cube that you drop on the floor, you are washing your water with water, in the hope that there’s only water..on the water…you will add to your water. –There are…
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–There’s a massive difference between eating ramen noodles because you want to and eating them because you have to. –There are 1.2 billion cars on the road right now. One of our biggest goals is to keep them from touching. –The speed limit is the maximum speed you can go by the law and also…
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–My debit card pays for things with past hours of my life, and my credit card pays with future hours of my life. –If Goldilocks tried three beds, then Momma Bear and Daddy Bear slept separately. Baby Bear is probably the only thing keeping the family together. –If colleges really want to prepare high school…
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–Dad jokes are where a man’s creative energies go when it is no longer appropriate to use pick up lines. –People who own big houses or apartments will never know the joy of vacuuming the whole house in 5 minutes using one outlet. –Smart TVs aren’t going to be technically smart until they can increase…
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–People must get way less paper cuts than 20 years ago due to the digital age. –Cut too many corners, and you end up going in circles. –Pressing the door lock button on your car’s key fob just once never seems to lock it enough. –Movie theaters are the only entertainment venues where the front…
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–If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn’t that also make him the worst spy? –If they mounted garbage trucks with cameras, you could update Google Maps street view every week. –Math is the only place where someone would buy 60 watermelons and 40 cantaloupes, and no one asks any questions. –Batman would look…
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