Wake the Lakes DIMWIT-ZZZZ-DUMB for the Day”

–Car design used to accommodate smokers with lighters and ashtrays, but now we’re over a decade into the smartphone era, and automakers still haven’t thought of including a phone mount.

–It’s crazy that there’s this giant thing in the sky all the time that we’re not supposed to look at.

–Using solar panels to power an air conditioning unit is like using the Sun’s power against itself.

–”Where are you” is probably the least used phrase in sign language.

–A true mad scientist would only destroy half of the earth, since the other half is the control group.

–Brushing your teeth is the only time you clean your skeleton.

–The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.

–Every time I check my pockets for my wallet, keys, and phone, I do 25% of the macarena.