Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZZ-DUMB for the Day” 

–Go to bed, you’ll feel better in the morning” is the human version of “Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?”

–Dogs understand several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. Dogs may be smarter than me.

–If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

–As a kid my parents taught me to not believe everything I see on TV, now I have to teach them to not believe everything they see on Facebook.

–Tall people are expected to use their reach to help shorter people, but if a tall person were to ask a short person to hand them something they dropped on the floor it’d be insulting.

–The words “DO NOT TOUCH”,  would probably be a really unsettling thing to read in braille.

–Vehicles today can surf the web, link to your phone, stream music and videos, etc.. but they still can’t perform a simple database lookup to tell you what the check engine light is on for.

–When you bake bread, you give thousands of yeast organisms false hope by feeding them sugar, before ruthlessly baking them to death in an oven and eating their corpses.