Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZ-DUM” for the Day” 7-6-23

–The saying ‘Money can’t buy you happiness’ should be changed to ‘ Money can’t prevent sadness.’
–When there’s an earthquake, coffins become huge underground maracas.
–Every survey is skewed toward people willing to participate in surveys.
–Taking a dog named “Shark” to the beach seems like a bad idea.
–Bachelor parties would make more sense the night before a divorce instead of before a wedding.
–Police should wear blue and red light up shoes when they have to chase someone on foot.
–Lightning a birthday cake every year and then blowing them is a weird custom that signifies how your life will be extinguished.
–The back of the knees should be known as kneepits.
–Do nudists have a private part or public part?
–The best part of a cucumber tastes like the worst part of a watermelon.
–When I do cardio, This just makes me realize how long a minute really is.
–If a priest can bless water, then hypothetically we could have holy guacamole too.
–It’s much weirder to ask “Will you talk to me for $7?” than “Can I buy you a drink?”
–Chuck-E-Cheese is just a Casino with training wheels.