Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZ-DUM” 8-17-23

–Boring news is a great indicator of a healthy society.
–Cold coffee and warm beer are the same temperature.
–The bigger someone’s favorite number gets, the weirder it is.
–You can lie about a dream and everyone will believe you.
–Theme parks are the only place that when you hear people scream you know that everything’s alright.
–Kids who wouldn’t let you borrow pencils in class grew up to not let you merge on the highway.
–If roads are the arteries of a city, accidents are cholesterol, and tow trucks are Cheerios.
–The longer the haircut, the shorter the haircut.
–If you’re close to getting in trouble, you’re on thin ice. If you’re in trouble, you’re in hot water. Apparently, there is hot water under a layer of thin ice.
–After your senior year in high school, it’s not summer vacation, it’s unemployment.
–Once you turn 18, your 6,570 day free trial has expired.
–Giraffes are probably terrified of vampires.
–Even if 99% of the world hated you, roughly 75,270,000 people would still like you.
–“Flu-like symptoms” is the “tastes like chicken” of the medical world.
–One of the most awkward moments in life is saying goodbye to someone and then both walking in the same direction.