Wake the Lakes DIMWIT-ZZZZ-DUMB for the Day”

–We are the last generation that knows what life was like BEFORE social media.

–Anybody that questions why you are shoveling 6 inches of snow in the *middle* of a snowstorm hasn’t shoveled 12 inches of snow at the end of a snowstorm.

–Extra fries in your bag is going to become a thing of the past once fast-food workers are 100% replaced by robots.

–Taxi drivers are protesting against Uber. Hotel owners are rallying against AirBnB. I wonder what happens when the postal service finally gets wind of e-mail.

– It’s amazing how nice people are to you when they know you’re going away.

–I wouldn’t call most people lazy,  but it’s a good thing that breathing is a reflex.

–If the Earth was flat, the edge would probably be a tourist attraction.  

–Technically, if you marry someone, they become your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

–When someone says “Hold Your Horses,” they’re telling you to be “stable.” (HAAAAA!)

–Heat pressure and time make a diamond, but…they also make a waffle.

–When you close both of your eyes, they see black.  When you close one eye, it sees nothing.

–The ad for the first TV in color, must have been in black and white.

–We spend around two years teaching our children how to walk and talk, then the remainder of their childhood trying to get them to just sit down and shut up.