Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZZ-DUMB for the Day”

–People must get way less paper cuts than 20 years ago due to the digital age.

–Cut too many corners, and you end up going in circles.

–Pressing the door lock button on your car’s key fob just once never seems to lock it enough.

–Movie theaters are the only entertainment venues where the front row seats are the least desirable seats.

–You only need one witness to prove a murder but need at least two witnesses to prove a wedding. It clarifies which one is more dangerous.

–The fewer clothes you have, the faster they wear out.

–Asking a tall person to take something from a tall shelf will give them a sense of accomplishment, but asking a short person to take something on the ground because they are nearer will be an insult.

–In our educational system, there are teachers who teach other teachers how to teach teachers.

–Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.

–The gym is the only place where the customers work harder than the employees.

–It’s risky to buy soda pop right after an earthquake.

–And, come on.  Nobody hates Mondays. Just a lot of people hate their jobs.