Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZ-DUM for the Week” 2-2-24

–X (formerly known as Twitter) is great if you can’t afford therapy, and it’s also great if you don’t want to get any better.
–A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
–Mars is the only planet we know is completely inhabited by robots.
–It takes two years to learn to speak and sixty to learn to keep quiet.
–The most important thing your fitness tracker tells you is that you survived another day.
–Typically, a pair of scissors would be advantageous to open a new pack of scissors.
–At a certain point, no news is no longer good news.
–Good acting is when you’re disappointed the actors aren’t married in real life.
–One telltale sign of maturity is when you realize how super fast dust forms.
–Popcorn is probably just as unique as snowflakes….but nobody cares.
–One of the great things about cooking your own food is the sweet certainty that any hair in it is your own.
–Putting groceries in the freezer is like Tetris, but taking them out is like Jenga.
–You forget how much force it takes to walk…until you walk into a wall.
–Interesting, isn’t it, that “take out” refers to food, romantic dating, and assassination.
–Fish is the only food that is regularly accused of tasting too much like itself.
–All of us live less than 65 miles from space, yet only a very few will ever go there.
–“Many people have only ever said the word ‘spurt’ immediately after saying the word ‘growth’.”