Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZZ-DUMB for the Day”

–If there is a war on Christmas, then Christmas is winning.  It has taken over the territories of both October and November from opposing factions:  Halloween and Thanksgiving.

–You never realize how few original Christmas songs there are until you work in retail (or radio), and have to hear the same 6 songs sung by 10 different people in a 4 hour shift.

–The moral of Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer is that no one likes you unless you’re useful.

–Santa is actually pretty evil.  Unfair labor practices, animal abuse, breaking and entering, surveillance, and at least one hit and run…Rest In Peace, Grandma!

–Santa Claus probably regrets giving coal to naughty kids now that global warming is threatening his habitat.  

–No matter how many kids are waiting to see Santa, you just can’t open up another line with a second Santa.

–Christmas is more of a deadline than a holiday.

–Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.

– Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.