Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZZ-DUMB for the Day”

–Plastic bags are the city version of tumbleweed.

–The voice in your head is an extraordinary singer.

–If you wash the dirt from an ice cube that you drop on the floor, you are washing your water with water,  in the hope that there’s only water..on the water…you will add to your water.

–There are a little fewer than 500 billionaires on this planet and not a single one of those has decided to become Batman.

–Adam and Eve are the original house guests who overstayed their welcome by eating their host’s food after specifically being asked not to.

–We feel safest at home despite being surrounded by ~240-volt wires, endless water resting at 80-120 PSI and explosive methane gas, all in pipes and wires which were installed who knows when by a person who may or may not have ignored safety standards they felt were unnecessary at the time.

–No one actually teaches you how to ride a bicycle. They just hype you up until you work it out.

–Cooking products are sold by saying they can help you cook “restaurant quality” meals, but restaurants get you to come in by saying they have “Homestyle” cooking.

–If getting gray hairs makes you feel old, imagine how old your parents must feel knowing they have children who have gray hair.

–You don’t know how powerful your jaws are until you try to break an M&M with your fingers.