Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZ-DUM for the Week” 10-5-23

–Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

–You’ll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully and lie about your age.

–When tempted to fight fire with fire, always remember The fire department usually uses water.

–Never blame someone else for the road you’re on.  That’s your own asphalt.

–The older you get, the earlier it gets late.

–Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

–The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

–Be careful when you follow the masses.  Sometimes the “m” is silent.

–Good judgment comes from experience. And experience, well that comes from poor judgment.

–Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.  

–It amazes me how “extra fries” and “exercise” sound alike.

–Do you ever feel like your body’s check engine light has been on and you’re still driving it like “nah, it’ll be fine.”

–A picture is worth a thousand words, but it takes longer to load.

–The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

–Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

–The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so they can tell when they are really in trouble.

–A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

–Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.