Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZ-DUM for the Week” 11-30-23

–For the holiday season, If good things come in small packages, then more good things can come in large packages.
–If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
–Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
–Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.
–We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.
–It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say… and then don’t say it: INSTANT WISDOM!
–”Never lick the spoon” is the most important thing to learn in chemistry.
–To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.
–There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.
–We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
–Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really…NOT!
–A tree house is the biggest insult to a tree. “Here, I killed your friend. Hold him.”
–I find a duck’s likelihood of being friendly to me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.
–Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.
–Why don’t aliens visit our planet? Terrible ratings. One star.
–With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it’s only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy’s truck leaves him too.
–Teamwork is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
–To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing!
–There’s nothing like the joy on a kid’s face when she first sees the PlayStation 5 box containing the poofy socks I got her for Christmas.
–I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.
–When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.