Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZ-DUM for the Week” 12-7-23

–Turning your head towards someone requires an oddly specific speed. Too fast or too slow and it’s just weird.
–Before social media, all this stuff just stayed in people’s heads…where it probably belonged
–No matter how old you are, an empty wrapping paper tube is still fun to bonk someone over the head with.
–A 3 day break, you feel well rested. A 5+ day break, you forget how to be a productive member of society.
–If you ever think you’d be brave at gunpoint, just reflect on how you responded the last time someone aimed a rubber band at you.
–Growing up is understanding why the Grinch wanted to stay with his dog far away from society.
–Bad things always happen to good people because when bad things happen to bad people, it’s a good thing.
–The saying “out of sight, out of mind”, does not apply when you are in your room and catch a glimpse of a spider and then lose it.
–CTRL ALT DELETE is like threatening your computer to hurry up… or else
–Trust is leaving the drive-thru window without checking to see if they got your order correct.
–The fact that every screw/valve/twisty thing is righty tighty, lefty loosy by default is one of the greatest achievements in human history.
–If your dog had social media, it would be consistently filled with “OMG. They came home. Everything is OK again.”
–You never really notice how often you wash your hands until you have a band-aid on your finger.
–There was once a marketing person tasked with coming up with a super catchy catchphrase for a new hit breakfast cereal’s character, who was a talking cartoon tiger. They showed up to the meeting with, how about we use: “They’re great.”
–When you think about it, getting in shape is a problem in which running away from it would help.
–And, if Santa keeps track of “naughty” kids every year, and the “year” technically doesn’t start until January 1st, well…that leaves 6 days after Christmas undocumented, so nothing you do can be held against you.