–Giving somebody CPR is like blowing into a classic video game cartridge to make it work again. –The more people talk about the Powerball drawing at your work, the more likely you’re all underpaid and overworked. –Fun size candy bars are much less fun than normal sized candy bars. –When you get married you roughly…
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–Biscuits and gravy are weird because it’s like, ‘Here’s some really wet flour poured over some really dry flour.’ –Being ‘on your phone all day’ went from sounding very sociable to very unsociable within the span of a decade. –An “everything bagel” is proof that you can seemingly have it all and still have a…
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–Despite the randomness of things that go into the garbage, it always smells distinctly like garbage –Auto-correct should have been named more precisely as auto-assume. –Imagine if spiders were the same weight as dogs – and were just as fond of jumping on you… –Humans are afraid of being bitten by spiders even though they…
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-Interesting, isn’t it, that the term”take out” refers to food, romantic dating, and assassination. -Are those who sneeze the most blessed? -Mielke wants to know why we “write down” (Let me write that down.) and “type up” (Hey, I’ll type that up for you)? -I wonder how many animals’ backs did we humans have to…
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