Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZ-DUM for the Week” 1-11-24

–The major thing group projects taught us in school was that you had to do extra work to pick up the slack of others.
–Egyptian babies didn’t know that one day their Daddy would become a Mummy.
–Whomever put the “S” in fastfood is marketing genius.
–A stock market crash is worse than a divorce, you lose half your money and your wife is still around.
–You know when Donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.
–Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you’re forgetting.
–The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
–Most of us are already millionaires, but in another country’s currency.
–Whatever you do, always give 100%, unless you are donating blood.
–Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is “Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?”
–Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot.
–If I won $3 million with the lottery, I would donate a quarter of it to charity. That way I would still have $2,999,999.75.
–Lance is an uncommon name nowadays. But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.
–Cranberry juice tastes like it doesn’t want to be wet.
–The deeper the pit you’re falling into, the more chance you have to learn how to fly.
–The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.
–A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

–Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.
–Justice is a dish best served cold because if it were served warm, it would be justwater.
–Whoever designed modern dishwashers, never ate grits or oatmeal.