Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZ-DUM for the Week” 1-25-24

–No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves.
–Saying “super size it” at the drive-thru doesn’t work when it’s a pharmacy.
–Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator.
–The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
–Education is important but other stuff is more importanter.
–A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
–The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest.
–Why call someone when you can just decide where you and your friend want to meet by exchanging 48 text messages?
–There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my wife when she has the hiccups.
–A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.
–Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
–There is no key to a woman’s heart. There’s only a password that changes regularly.
–The best time to open a gift is the present.
–Sometimes you have to hug the people you don’t like so you know how big to dig the hole in your backyard.
–I’ve never once been able to explain my car trouble to a mechanic without resorting to sound effects.
–If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.