Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZ-DUM” for the Week 12-14-23

–A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
–The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
–”I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing… except when you’re at a funeral.
–Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
–Not hiring someone because they have tattoos completely ignores the fact that they clearly have no issues with pain or commitment.
–All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society’s way of preparing you for your driver’s license photo.
–True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.
–Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
–The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly.
–Don’t tell me I don’t know the difference between right & wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
–I made a graph of my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.
–If we get rid of all the margarine the world will be a butter place.
–It takes patience to listen.. it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
–We live in an age where mentioning you read a book seems a little bit like you’re showing off.
–I was hooked on auctions after only going once… going twice.
–Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.