Wake the Lakes “DIMWIT-ZZZZ-DUMB for the Day” 

–Manuals for TVs are regarded as useless, but in five thousand years they are as valuable as the Rosetta Stone: Most of those manuals have the same text in over 20 different languages and alphabets.

–Tom and Jerry are best friends. But Tom has to pretend to hate Jerry in order to protect (Jerry) so Tom’s owner doesn’t replace (Tom) with a cat that actually wants to kill Jerry.

–Nudists must have trouble cleaning their glasses.

–The real winner in the “every child gets a trophy” is the trophy making company.

–The phrase “not to mention” is used for the sole purpose of mentioning something.

–If you order DiGiorno Pizza on Amazon, it IS delivery.

–If there’s a “heavens no” and a “hell yea,” why isn’t there a “purgatory perhaps”?

–On our birthday, we celebrate our individual trips around the sun. On New Years, we celebrate the trip around the sun together.