Wake the Lakes DIMWIT-ZZZZ-DUMB for the Day

–Video games really downplay how tough it is to crouch walk.

–We spend our entire lives inside our minds, only experiencing the outside world through the lens of our perception. (OOOoooooo, soooo deep with that one)

–A job interview feels like a conversation between two liars, both of which know the other is lying.

–A telephone makes sound travel faster than sound.

–There’s a certain turning point where weighted blankets go from helping with anxiety to giving anxiety.

–Eight likes on your Instagram picture sounds awful but eight compliments in real life sounds fantastic.

–With eggs being so expensive, that weird person on your street that has their own chickens is finally vindicated.

–Sleep is the prime example of fake it until you make it.

–Biting your tongue is a reminder that your body’s cruise control has glitches.

–Meat consumed as comfort food is also an emotional support animal.

–Salt is the only rock that’s socially acceptable to eat.

–When you drive to the gym to work out, you’re using a machine that lets you move without effort in order to use machines that let you do effort without moving.