Wake the Lakes “Moron Lawbreaker of the Week” 1-16-24

A Colorado crook carrying thousands of dollars of stolen merchandise walked right into the police’s hands after he was caught trying to use an Uber as a getaway car, cops said.  The bungling burglar was ransacking a plumbing store in the Denver suburbs last week when he called a rideshare driver to pick him up.  The store owner had called 911 after noticing a hole cut in the business’ fencing and caught surveillance footage of the thief inside.  When the local Wheat Ridge police arrived on the scene, they discovered the Uber driver waiting nearby.  He told cops his passenger “Jose” was headed right toward the car.  “Are you looking for an Uber?” an officer can be heard asking the suspect in bodycam footage shared by the department. The man — wearing the hood of his black sweatshirt up and a face mask pushed open — shoots his gaze sideways and hides his hands inside his pockets.  “Uh — no,” he stammers.  He then gives the officers the fake name “Raul” as he takes several steps backward and away from the cops.  He was immediately grabbed by officers, but assures them he is not trying to make a break for it.  Jose doubles down on his innocence and claims he is simply on his way to his mother’s house. When told he matches the description of the thief, he maintains he is not the man they are looking for, despite not carrying identification to prove he is “Raul.”  The contents of his backpack, however, exposed the thin charade.   “This backpack is full of Milwaukee tools,” one officer can be heard saying while rifling through the loot.  Inside, cops found more than $8,600 worth of electric tools.  The 26 year old was taken into custody, where fingerprint scanners confirmed his real identity.  “It may not be the best idea to have an Uber pick you up AT the crime scene,” Wheat Ridge Police said on social media.  The following day, he was charged with theft, criminal trespassing and false reporting to authorities, court records show.